At the start of the year, when all the UR members had to book dates for posts on this lovely blog, I picked this date with the idea that I would be in the midst of my newest book release. I had this beautiful idea that if I could chip away at my book a little bit every day, six months would be more than enough time to whip it into shape.
Then again, I've never edited a book so long that I had to split it into five sections for one of my critique partners... with each single section being novel-length.
Needless to say, editing is kicking my butt in a big way. So I'm pushing my publishing date out to the end of the year in the hope that I'll be done by then.
It still left me with this post, though. So I thought about writing about deadlines and the pressure we put on ourselves sometimes.
I'm terrible about self-care. Seriously. I'm good at setting goals and chasing them down with Javert-like dogged determination. (John Malkovich Javert is my favorite, in case that was a burning question in the back of your mind.) Except... when the goal is to just have fun, or to take care of myself.
Which is not to say that I'm a stick in the mud. I love enjoying myself as much as the next person. But there's a flip-side to the "doing what you love" gig. "Do what you love," they say, "and you will never work for a day of your life."
Well... Lately I've come to realize that another, less-known adage has made it into my mind: "Do what you love and even your relaxation becomes work."
Writing? Work. Reading? Work. Watching TV? Work. Going to the movies? Work. Don't get me wrong. I love it. But I have found it harder to turn off for the day because the very things I used to do to relax are now the things I do to make a living.
Add to that deadlines (self-imposed or not) and/or the knowledge that you've got a few thousand people waiting for your next book to come out, and you've got yourself a pressure cooker. This gets even worse when we keep the deadlines short because conventional wisdom says we have to rush to get our books published... like yesterday.
But coming to this past weekend, when I had pictured I'd be celebrating my newest book being out, I just realized it's not necessarily the best thing to put that level of pressure on ourselves. Especially when you share in my good fortune of being able to write full-time. There needs to be a point where it's okay to miss a deadline, or to slack off and just have fun. To do something just for the hell of it instead of to reach some end-goal you have in mind. Otherwise, what would be the point of doing any of it in the first place?
Too often self care and life balance (queue hysterical laughter) become just another tool to use for self flagellation. And, if you are as talented in that pursuit as I am, you need no assistance.
ReplyDeleteHooray for slacking off, and kicking deadlines to the curb.
Yeah that's so true. I actually recently read someone making the point that the idea of balance is a myth. Most people who achieve great things actually did so because of (abnormally) single-minded focus.
DeleteSo I've decided not to stress about balance as much because it creates even MORE pressure while chasing down something that can never truly be achieved.
This post resonates with me so much. I always put an unhealthy amount of pressure on myself, in an attempt to be better and faster. Lately, though, I've been allowing myself to take breaks, since trying to be perfect just...takes its toll. So yeah, I agree: missing a deadline isn't the end of the world. We have to know what our limits are, and be kinder to ourselves in the process.
ReplyDeleteAlso, best of luck with your latest book! Hope you're able to publish it by the end of the year like you want, while squeezing in time for fun and self-care, too!
Yeah I think it's a tendency for us creative types. We want to achieve more and feel pressure to perform, and it actually ends up hurting us.
DeleteHere's to doing some fun things. ^_^
I was nodding through this whole post. I'm a hard worker, but I'm also my own worst boss. I'm trying to be kinder to myself this year, but I've missed my deadlines too, and I don't see a book release in my near future. It's tough to be nice to yourself in such situations, but we all need to do so. Good luck! :)
ReplyDeleteYeah I'm the same. I didn't really write about it because that would have made the post too long, but the hardest thing for me to deal with is guilt. When I know I have a deadline (or multiple ones) looming, I feel guilty when I just do something for fun. Which makes everything less fun.
DeleteSo I'm working on that.
I agree completely. This year, I've tried making myself a work schedule where I clock in and out. The change in productivity has been amazing. Instead of tiring myself out by thinking all the time, "I need to be writing" and not writing, I'm actually getting lots of writing in when I want.
ReplyDeleteI'm also trying scheduling with a set start and stop time. It's not 100% effective yet, but I'm getting there.
DeleteYou're editing a really long book, so of course it'll take more time than you think it will. Good luck with it! I haven't had much luck accomplishing any of my goals this year. *sighs*
ReplyDeleteYeah that's absolutely the thing. I try to keep that perspective and I'm constantly reminding myself that it's better late but worth the wait than rushed and my audience responds with a "meh".
DeleteHa! I schedule the same way. I'm always so optimistic on my releases. And I'm always working on something, either writing or editing. Editing ALWAYS takes me longer than I think it will.
ReplyDeleteThe frustrating thing is that I KNOW I am capable of reaching my tight deadlines, but right now my life isn't lining up right for that.
DeleteThis is changing, though, so hopefully I'll be able to work faster as things settle down here.
Take time to relax! Enjoy!
ReplyDeleteThanks :-)
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