Catherine Stine
was scheduled for today but the Green Room backstage is having some interdimensional
difficulties. Catherine will return as soon as we find out where we misplaced
her. Apologies for any inconvenience.
In the meantime,
Mistress Snark and Jezebel will be fielding questions from our gentle audience so let us begin!
Mary: Where
did you train?
Mistress: Down the
rabbit hole, of course, at the Caterpillar Academy for Immortals and Magical Creatures. I have Professor Cheshire Cat to thank for my success while there.
Carol: Is Jezebel
going on a diet?
Jezebel: Snurof noch
tikoba ru!
Mistress: Oh,
dear. Jezebel said something about orifices and congealing goo. I’m afraid the
original Underworld dialect is too colorful to translate for our audience. And Carol?
Please be wary of any packages you might receive from Jezebel. Moving right
along…
Angela: What the
dickens is in that punch?
Mistress: I’m afraid
Jezebel will never divulge that information. I can tell you that she picks only
the finest ingredients, fresh from the demon marketplace in the Underworld.
Ellie: Does
Mistress Snark have a first name?
Mistress: I do,
although if I tell you I’d have to kill you. Next question?
Julie: Let's dish:
Why is she a mistress and who's the lover?
Mistress: Inter-dimensional Queen of Everything sounds a bit pretentious, don’t you think? As for lovers…I’ve had many over the
centuries.
Ron: Jezebel, do
you love me as much as I love you (and your punch)?
Mistress: Jezebel
often tells me about the special regard she feels for you, Ron. Suffice it to
say, you occupy a large section in each of her twin hearts.
Elephant’s Child: Have you ever considered taking an apprentice? If you have, Jazz and I would like first dibs, even knowing that if we are ‘fired’ that our bones will melt and the pain will last an eternity. We are cheap though. I require nothing more than punch, and Jazz is happy to fend for himself (though slow moving guests should be wary).
Elephant’s Child: Have you ever considered taking an apprentice? If you have, Jazz and I would like first dibs, even knowing that if we are ‘fired’ that our bones will melt and the pain will last an eternity. We are cheap though. I require nothing more than punch, and Jazz is happy to fend for himself (though slow moving guests should be wary).
Mistress: We hadn’t
considered an apprentice but rest assured, you will be placed at the top of the
list. Is Jazz willing to chase down some of Jezebel’s wiggly recipe ingredients?
They can be rather hard to corral. And just so you know, large quantities of punch can mask the
pain of melted bones…
Sheena-kay: Is
Jezebel a birth name or a nickname. If it is a nickname how did you get it?
Mistress: Jezebel
has always been named that. She named herself from the moment of her existence, although she doesn’t live in linear time so I can’t tell you when that happened. Or will happen. Time loops give me a headache...
Jeff: Did Jezebel
really have her way with Milin, Tassin and Sessin after slipping those poor
dwarves that punch? And does Father Dragon know?
Mistress: If the
dwarves are staying mum on the subject, who am I to share their innermost
delights? As for Father Dragon, I think he suspects as much. It might have been
their inability to concentrate when they returned to the cave. Or their
chanting. Hard to say which.
Christine: *flashes
a badge* Where were you last night between 10:00 and 11:30?
Mistress: I can’t
tell you. Top secret and all that. Here, have a glass of punch, Officer… *waves
at the gray-coats backstage and points to Christine*
I hope you’ve
enjoyed our time together! Be sure to come back next month. This blog will be
participating in the A to Z April Challenge and Jezebel has a special event
planned for April 21st, in which she uses the letter R to confound the other members of Untethered Realms.
Ron is of course quite right. And not alone. I too love Jezebel and her punch and Jazz would really, really like to become her.
ReplyDeleteAnd is more than happy to chase down wriggly ingredients - or guests.
EC - Some of the guests do become unruly. Jazz could have his paws full. ;)
DeleteOh great Mistress Snark is back ... and can quite understand Catherine getting lost in the Jezebel universe that resides alongside ours somewhere ... too many wormholes, perhaps she ate too much cheese .. blue or Cheshire ... delighted Jezebel will be A-Zing with us mere mortals .. cheers Hilary
ReplyDeleteHilary - So many guests get lost on the show...although most are recovered eventually. Jezebel is looking forward to the A to Z!
DeleteIs there anything we need to do to help locate Catherine? I sure hope she's okay wherever, whenever, or whatever has become of her.
ReplyDeleteAnd darned if I was hoping to get that punch recipe lol!
Angela - I'm sure Catherine is enjoying her time in the netherworld...or at least she won't remember it.
DeleteMany have tried to get the punch recipe. None have ever succeeded.
Jezebel, there's no need to get snippy. Congealing goo? Really? Ha!
ReplyDeleteCarol - You know how Jezebel gets. Although, snippy is her "gentle" mode. She was in a good mood that day. ; ;)
DeleteI did so enjoy learning more about Jezebel. Though the Chief is really needing a statement. Maybe you could take him some of this delicious punch? *falls over*
ReplyDeleteChristine - I do so hope you recover from whatever Jezebel put in your punch. You'll need your wits about you to escape from your inter-dimensional holding cell. Those gray-coats take their job seriously, you know. The Chief could find himself in there with you if he persists with his questions.
DeleteBahahahah -- so fun!!
ReplyDeleteJulie - So glad you enjoyed it! *refills Julie's jumbo size punch glass*
DeleteI'm afraid for Catherine, but enjoyed the questions and answers. I think it's better not knowing what's in the punch.
ReplyDeleteMary - Rumor has it that Catherine is "comfortable," but the source is somewhat unreliable. As for the punch, I think we're all better off not knowing.
DeleteSo much fun! And Inter-dimensional Queen of Everything doesn't sound pretentious at all, especially when the title fits. :)
ReplyDeleteCherie - I suffer from a false sense of modesty. Perhaps I'll adopt the title as rightful homage.
DeleteP.S. Don't tell Jezebel. She might decide to claim it first.
Thank you, Inter-dimensional Queen of Everything, for the heartfelt thoughts from Jezebel. No, I don't want to know what's in her punch -- I just want to drink it again, and again, and again. What's happening in my dimension? I wish I knew.
ReplyDeleteRon - I love that title and have decided to keep it! Don't worry about what's happening in your dimension. Rest assured, Jezebel's got your back...and will be shipping you a lifetime supply of punch. Please remember to tip the demon delivery service. They get more than surly when stiffed.
DeleteI'll have a generous gratuity ready! Thank you, Jezebel!
DeleteGreat read. Loved the questions. Adored the answers. Can the punch be ordered online? (smile)
ReplyDeleteDixie - I'm so glad you enjoyed it! As for the punch, Jezebel is working on an online ordering system. She should be done with it in 20 years or so. Sometimes extreme patience is required when dealing with those who live outside of linear time, you know...
DeleteWhat were they chanting? "Jezebel! We won't tell!" (I think those dwarves are a little short on concentration.)
ReplyDeleteJeff - I'm not familiar with the language they were chanting in, but they seemed deliriously happy while they danced about!
DeleteAnd Zenon was the first to disappear since the Ninjas danced. We didn't see him for months. I sent the others to look for him and this is what I got. No need to read minds to figure out where they have been when they arrived singing "Pretty mamma, come and light my fire" in old dwarvish.
DeleteAl - Jezebel is still humming that song when she thinks I'm not listening. Don't be surprised if you find her returning to the cave for another visit soon. Tell the dwarves to expect her. ;)
DeleteA good laugh, and I'm here, I'm here, just trying to keep my head screwed on firmly as I run around, way to busily. I am scheduled for Miss Snark next month, am I not?
ReplyDeleteCatherine - Ah, it's good to hear from you! The maelstrom has released your essence at last. I can tell that the space-time continuum still isn't quite right though. You are scheduled for May, as April is the A to Z Challenge. ;)
DeleteLooking forward to the letter R.
ReplyDeleteIt's going to be great fun, Jeff!
Delete